Help Wanted: Perfect Parent

There's a classified ad in our local paper this week-end from a family from the city that is planning to summer here at the beach. They are looking for someone to help with their kids. The ad reads, in part:

...a reliable, ENERGETIC, patient, yet firm, individual to help with caring for/nurturing a 4 year old boy and 6 year old girl, as well as light housekeeping items (laundry, meals and kitchen).

...to help with sports activities (swimming, running, playing ball, bikes, etc) outings to the park and beach, on our boat.

We also would like our children to have reading, math and other "lessons" over the summer. The ability to teach a musical instrument ... is a plus!

Apparently, Maria Von Trapp, Mary Poppins, and Nanny McPhee were already booked up.