What the Hell Do They Think That Word Means, Anyway?

A TV ad in the other room has just reminded me of an abuse of the language that has bugged me for years. Whoever it was, they were promising, I think to investors (and I wouldn't trust them, whoever they were), "personalized, objective advice."

Just what the hell do they mean by "personalized" advice. Taken literally, doesn't that mean that they will give you their standard advice, but will make it personal? Won' they just take their usual sales pitch, and personalize it by adding, I don't know, your name?

Well, (insert name of client here), I think we can make great progress for you and (insert name of client's spouse, SO, kid, or pet) if we marginalize the hamifranistration index and purdleplast the frostimatriculation scale.

Now, I know you are a careful and thoughtful investor (insert name of client here), but I think it's time for us to grab the...

I keep hearing that word in TV and radio ads. I suppose they mean "personal service." But "personalized" just bugs me.

And so I have posted this rant.